Just arrived home from a meeting with my oncologist. I finally have the information regarding the date that I start my second stem cell transplantation. The date is, of all days, Valentine’s Day. As some of you know I will be part of a clinical trial. I will be the first person with this particular regimen of drugs and chemo. Not only did Avis and I spend time with my oncologist but also with the bone marrow coordinator and the clinical trial coordinator. I will begin with a powerful drug five days before my hospital stay and was warned that there could be many side effects during this time.
Last week I was talking with our Nashville friend Judy Nelon, whose church background is with the Church of God (Cleveland, Tennessee). I was telling her of this clinical trial and my hope that I would be in remission for at least two years. The doctors tell me that multiple myeloma is not curable but treatable. Judy took me aback with “Doesn’t your Church of God believe in healing?!” Well, I said “Yes.”
I got to thinking, why I am so afraid? Do I have enough faith that I can be healed? That is something that I struggle with and wonder why I can’t just believe that God is going to heal me. Is that part of the plan? There are so many praying for me and they seem to have the faith that I lack. This is certainly a scary time in my life, but maybe as February 14 draws closer I can feel the calm assurance I need to begin this new chapter in my life.
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